I Choked On My Chicken

I had a little bit of a choking incident at work. Nothing unusual for me. Big pieces and/or dry pieces of meat get stuck in my esophagus. Macy's Chicken was quite dry today. and I ate a bit too fast.

 

Let the masturbation jokes begin:

 

I made a mess around the toilet

 

I began sweating profusely

 

Once someone realized what I was doing, they swiftly left the restroom

 

My heartbeat  became slightly arrhythmic

 

It's 2:20 PM and  still can't concentrate at work

 

I became slightly asphyxiated (RIP David Carradine)

 

It shot out and splashed into the toilet water

 

I was dizzy afterward

 

 

 

Any other ideas?