Confused on Dating

I'm putting myself out there in the dating scene. I use this "useful" tool called Okcupid.com.

I have a profile. I've met some good people on there, and many other failures.

Recently, I had a date. But before that, we chatted online quite a bit. I was quite skeptical of this date going into it.

First off, the pics were NOT good. I was pessimistic about that. but there were a couple of good ones she had up on Facebook... figured you only look as good as your best photograph.

Secondly, she seemed WAY excited for this date.Like, they say "don't count your chickens before they hatch". She was talking about making time for me when she was back at school, possibly cooking for me and helping me organize my place.

My friend convinced me to not put her down. This girl liked me going into this... so I should like that.

I was interested in meeting, but I had my eyes out for other possibilities too. Other dates were made for the future.

So we decide to drive to the baseball game in my car, so she drove here. I saw her. Not THAT bad looking. Quite attractive. boobs. lol

But talking to her was like prying open a can with a butter knife. Maybe I was coming on too much. Forrest Gump impressions are not appreciated. I think that was the mistake. If I would've used it in any of my past dates, I probably still be a virgin.

So during the game, we spoke between innings. Well, we sort of spoke... that failed. She didn't like my type of music, movies. There were silences.

The convo picked up on the way back from the game. But there were no hugs or anything when we parted.

I received a message the next day "I had fun, but we are not a match."

Part of me wishes that excitement from before the date was still around. I know, I know... very little in common, blah blah blah.
I don't think friends will be a possibility, even though she said "friends". Lies lies... socially conventional lies.

But suppose even a second date, I would've been more comfortable and possibly we'd find each other.

Maybe it was because SHE decided she didn't like me. I wasn't 100% decided, but she was. Probably the instant she actually saw me. Therefore, I lost the game.

I am missing something. I yearn for that connection where someone wants me and I want them. I want shared smiles, laughter... openness. It's about beating hearts. Admiration, mutual support.


Happy. Happy. Happy.

That's what I'm really looking to find.

Happy.