Funny MJ Memory

This just came to me head.

Okay, so there was a period before dad remarried where my uncle was living with my dad. He'd gotten a divorce, and needed a place to live. I swear to blob, my dad's house became the coolest place ever. There was an RC Cola machine, a bar in the dining room with a large TV, and attached to it was an Atari . All this was my uncle's stuff.

Well, this guy was a supermarket manager for Country Club Market. Remember that local chain? He had this Pepsi Michael Jackson stand-up store display at dad's in the bar/dining room. It was MJ from his "Bad" era. I Googled it on Bing, and there are some EBay listing of these cardboard guys going for 1,500-2,000 dollars.

They used to prank each other all the time, by placing the standy at random parts of the house. My step mom recalls leaving my dad's bedroom while they were dating and being scared nearly shitless. There was Michael standing at the top of the stairs, courtesy of my uncle.

She still decided to marry him after that. Wow.

I Choked On My Chicken

I had a little bit of a choking incident at work. Nothing unusual for me. Big pieces and/or dry pieces of meat get stuck in my esophagus. Macy's Chicken was quite dry today. and I ate a bit too fast.

 

Let the masturbation jokes begin:

 

I made a mess around the toilet

 

I began sweating profusely

 

Once someone realized what I was doing, they swiftly left the restroom

 

My heartbeat  became slightly arrhythmic

 

It's 2:20 PM and  still can't concentrate at work

 

I became slightly asphyxiated (RIP David Carradine)

 

It shot out and splashed into the toilet water

 

I was dizzy afterward

 

 

 

Any other ideas?

 

 

 

 

Confused on Dating

I'm putting myself out there in the dating scene. I use this "useful" tool called Okcupid.com.

I have a profile. I've met some good people on there, and many other failures.

Recently, I had a date. But before that, we chatted online quite a bit. I was quite skeptical of this date going into it.

First off, the pics were NOT good. I was pessimistic about that. but there were a couple of good ones she had up on Facebook... figured you only look as good as your best photograph.

Secondly, she seemed WAY excited for this date.Like, they say "don't count your chickens before they hatch". She was talking about making time for me when she was back at school, possibly cooking for me and helping me organize my place.

My friend convinced me to not put her down. This girl liked me going into this... so I should like that.

I was interested in meeting, but I had my eyes out for other possibilities too. Other dates were made for the future.

So we decide to drive to the baseball game in my car, so she drove here. I saw her. Not THAT bad looking. Quite attractive. boobs. lol

But talking to her was like prying open a can with a butter knife. Maybe I was coming on too much. Forrest Gump impressions are not appreciated. I think that was the mistake. If I would've used it in any of my past dates, I probably still be a virgin.

So during the game, we spoke between innings. Well, we sort of spoke... that failed. She didn't like my type of music, movies. There were silences.

The convo picked up on the way back from the game. But there were no hugs or anything when we parted.

I received a message the next day "I had fun, but we are not a match."

Part of me wishes that excitement from before the date was still around. I know, I know... very little in common, blah blah blah.
I don't think friends will be a possibility, even though she said "friends". Lies lies... socially conventional lies.

But suppose even a second date, I would've been more comfortable and possibly we'd find each other.

Maybe it was because SHE decided she didn't like me. I wasn't 100% decided, but she was. Probably the instant she actually saw me. Therefore, I lost the game.

I am missing something. I yearn for that connection where someone wants me and I want them. I want shared smiles, laughter... openness. It's about beating hearts. Admiration, mutual support.


Happy. Happy. Happy.

That's what I'm really looking to find.

Happy.

Go Ahead, Screw Up the Next Generation

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31894749/ns/entertainment-access_hollywood/

 

It's bad enough your dad was a little "eccentric". You can't say that doesn't have an impact on the kids in the first place.

 

I only know, because I always thought kids with "hippie" parents were weird. With their "natural" peanutbutter, and their loving (of) nature. Taragon? WTF is taragon?

 

Maybe it's me and MY lack of exposure. But they are still just...

 

Anyway, Joe is going to torture all the little Michael children to sing and dance. Thankfully, CPS is a bit more attentive towards rich people in Encino, CA in 2009 than they were to poor black kids in Gary, IN in the 1960s.

Requited love is an impossibility and we will fall in love only once. The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else's imagination, and desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact. With modern technology and communication, it only heightens the sense of desolation, always a reminder that no one is trying to call.

Not my quote, that's for sure...

Just the Guys

For a period of time, before my dad remarried... It was just the 4 of us on the weekends. Dad, Willie, Jake, and Me on weekends.

My dad was a man among men. Hunted (unsuccessfully), did repairs (successfuly, only after cursing the devil's dictionary), and he has always been a hard worker. He held mutliple jobs at a time.

So amazingly enough, dad baked with us. We did oatmeal raisin cookies often, and I got to stir.

We would rough house. Often times, it ended with someone crying. Once it was him. I did "top rope" from the couch and accidentally kneed him in the jiblets.

Do NOT make this guy angry. He had/has a booming voice that can tear your soul to shreds. He was known for making "a big noise".

We bathed in his old claw-foot bath tub, and I remember shivering like crazy when I got out. It was very cold in his bathroom.

Then it was bed time. I always wore one of his t-shirts as pajamas. All of the beds were in his bedroom, because his sick uncle lived downstairs and he had another roommate who was a junkie. So, his door was always closed. I slept on the folding bed, and my older brothers slept on a metal bunkbed that was used in my dad's family.

All together, we did the bedtime prayer. We didn't need bedtime stories, because I nearly feel asleep trying to remember eveyone to bless. We "God blessed" everyone that came to mind. Mommy, all of our grandma and grandpas, his brothers, sisters, their spouses... our cousins.

Eventually we said "Amen". And traditionally, he said ,"Good night, I love you, glad you're mine." (Both parents said that to us)

As a naive child of 4 or 5, I once replied "But we're mom's? We don't live with you."

I can only reflect back now what anger and sadness he was trying to hold back.

"You're mine too! You're my sons!"

I have an odd memory for things like this.

Dell, With Windows Vista

Cool!

 

So, instead of having to go all the way to blogspot, I can enter  my blogs on windows Live Writer. Saves me so much inconvenience of… no inconvenience what-so-ever

 

I don’t have any pics loaded yet, so I’ll just give you this for now.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIgC36_Rp80

 

And this

Gootchie Man On the FLY!

I LOOOVE my suburban bus. I started taking park and ride out of Oakdale a few weeks ago.

 

For one, I've been paying for my bus pass all year and hardly used it. I had no clue WHERE to catch the bus. There was one express bus that picked up a couple blocks away. Sweet. No gas is expended. But, I would have to transfer downtown St. Paul onto a 94 Express bus. It took a good hour to commute home.

 

If I did take a bus, it was usually park and ride from Como. I discovered it a few years ago. It was a local route that cut through the U of M campus. It reliably came every 15 minutes and then I was off on my merry way to run any errands I needed on my way home. Downfall, I was practically driving to Minneapolis to take a bus into downtown. Did I mention it cut through the campus? ;) 

 

Well, I'm nearing 27 and I'm a bit too old for those cheap thrills.

 

The best part of the new bus is it only has trips to Minneapolis in the morning rush hour, and leaving Minneapolis in the afternoon rush. EVERYONE has enough head on their shoulders to have a job. Therefore, they are normal.

 

As we enter Minneapolis in the morning, anyone can get on the bus to ride for the downtown fare. Today was a guy calling himself "Gootchie Man". He was a short urbanite with sideways hat and baggy clothes. He walks in with his bag of Doritos and munches loudly.  He kept on saying aloud "Gootchie Man on the fly!" "Gootchie Man ridin' downtown!"

 

I heard him conjure up a loogie, but I'm unsure if he expelled it in the empty bag, or on a surface inside the bus (seat, floor, etc.). I didn't look at him if I didn't have to.

 

My sweet peaceful suburban bus has been disturbed today. Let's all say a prayer...